GROWN

What Is Differentiation?

This is magic stuff. It's learning how to reconnect, or connect for the first time, with parts of your inner world you might be disconnected from. When we connect with ourselves in a new way, we can connect with other people in a new way too.

It's the foundation of every healthy relationship you'll ever have, and most of us were never taught how to do it.

Think of GROWN as a differentiation bootcamp. We'll do the inner work to understand your patterns, and then you'll practice something new in real time with a group of men who get it.

Growing Up the Little Boy Inside

Somewhere inside, there's a younger version of you who learned how to survive. Maybe he learned to be the good boy, the funny one, the achiever, or the one who never needed anything.

Those strategies made sense then. They just don't fit the life you want now.

At GROWN, we won't try to get rid of that little boy. We'll get to know him better, understand what he needs today, and help you become the grown man who can take care of him, so you can make choices again.

Why a Group?

There will only be ten men at GROWN.

The group isn't a side feature. It's where the change happens. Our patterns show up with other people, so that's where we get to practice something new: asking for what you need, hearing feedback, sitting with discomfort, and letting yourself be supported.

Everyone will also have a chance to contribute something to the weekend, whether that's leading a morning yoga session, helping cook one of our included meals, or sharing something you love. Helping create the weekend together is part of the experience.

And it won't all be heavy. There may even be some ecstatic dance to Madonna.

We'll co-create a brave space where you can take risks and be yourself.

What We'll Explore

• Your relationship patterns and where they come from
• Differentiation: staying yourself while staying connected
• Your inner child and what he needs today
• People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and losing yourself in relationships
• Boundaries and knowing what you want
• Shame, belonging, and being a gay, bi, or trans man in the world
• Tolerating discomfort without running or shutting down
• Dating and attraction from a more grounded place
• Building a relationship with yourself first
• What brings you pleasure
• A plan for what comes next

Lodging Included

Where We'll Stay

We'll have an entire private compound to ourselves in downtown Joshua Tree: a historic desert motel, first built in 1960, that's been renovated into nine separate casitas.

Everyone gets their own bedroom and their own bathroom. You'll have a quiet place to land and recharge between sessions, and plenty of shared space to gather, cook, and connect.

Restaurants and shops are right nearby, and Joshua Tree National Park is just down the road for anyone who wants some desert time during downtime.

Is GROWN for You?

GROWN is for gay, bi, and trans men who are ready to get curious and courageous, with others but most importantly with yourself.

You don't need to have it all figured out. You do need to be willing to look at yourself honestly, try new things in a group, and get a little uncomfortable.

GROWN is a sober retreat. We'll spend the weekend without alcohol or other substances so everyone can be fully present with themselves and each other.